Yeah, I lived the college life.
Speaking for myself, the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy — BUT — if I’d never learned that for myself, I would’ve probably always wondered about it. Still caught up in the ‘what if?…’
I mean, the girls are never as hot as you think they’ll be (especially the next day), the sex doesn’t give you the self-esteem / validation you think it will, the drugs take more from you in time than they give you in wisdom.
It’s not a beer commercial where everyone is happy and beautiful and smiling all night. There’s a lot of really broken, really fucked up, lonely girls out there. The one night stands you take home and screw aren’t glorious notches that validate how much game you have, you know? Most of the time, you’re just seizing upon some girl who is desperate to be cared about so she’ll throw herself at you because she doesn’t know how else to find what she’s looking for beyond appealing to what she believes is the masculine failsafe of convenient sexuality.
There were a lot of times I went out looking to prove something to myself - only to walk home the next day feeling like I didn’t prove shit except that I’m even more confused than when I started (not to mention a crash course in STD scares).
The feeling of hollowness that creeps into you through the holes of your moral fabric is palpable.
All that said, I think it’s something everyone has to figure out for themselves by doing it — more or less. At the end of the day, I’m still glad I lived it out and learned for myself rather than just sat in my dorm and wondered ‘what if…’
For a long time I could never pass an ambulance on the street without wishing I was inside it.
— Meggie Royer, 10 Truth and a Lie (via larmoyante)